


Just Not His Week

by MovesLikeWind



Category: Naruto
Genre: Gen, Short & Sweet
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-13
Updated: 2013-04-13
Packaged: 2017-12-08 08:23:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,014
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/759226
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MovesLikeWind/pseuds/MovesLikeWind
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kakashi is having a bad week.  And another mission escorting a petulant tween is the last thing he needs - or is it?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is another thing I wrote for fun back in 2009 and posted to FF.net. Consolidating things here.

The people of Konoha were used to living among highly skilled shinobi. They had grown accustomed to seeing the village’s protectors bounding across rooftops or heaving weapons at one another in playful battle. Through experience, they had also become rather adept at reading the elite ninja’s often changing moods. They were aware that a tired shinobi usually meant a cranky shinobi, which was why they were giving Kakashi a wide berth on the street. They could tell by the way the normally graceful jounin was dragging his feet that he wasn’t just tired: he was cashed.

The civilians had seen the normally elusive ninja more than usual in the past several days, often at dawn, and often covered in mud and leaves. For the fifth morning in a row the owner of the pastry stand stopped wiping down his counter and watched the man slouch by, giving off an attitude of general grumpiness. Mothers pulled their children out of his way. Even the dogs on the street skirted around him, tails between their legs and eyes cast down in submission. He was blissfully unaware that all this was taking place around him. There was only one more mission for him to complete and that was to make it into his apartment before he fell asleep in the gutter.

It had been five days since he had slept, save for those three minutes he had dozed off while standing outside the Hokage’s office the night before, waiting to receive his 4th consecutive mission. He was about ten yards from his door when the only person in Konoha who didn’t seem to be aware of his currently lethal state slipped out of an alley and fell into step next to him.

“My eternal rival! Are you ready for another day of defending the most honorable village in the world?”

_Oh gods._

Kakashi didn’t even expend the energy of turning his head to look at the shimmering Gai. The sunlight hurt his eyes as it was and the gleam coming off his companion’s white teeth would probably have been enough to burn his retina. Gai was strutting next to the grey-haired man with his chest thrust forward, looking as if at any moment someone might jump out and snap his picture for the “Most Shining Man of the Year” Award.

“Perhaps we could have that hundredth battle today, my worthy comrade! The sun is shining, the breeze is warm and I feel success in the air!”

Kakashi still hadn’t made any acknowledgement that the tall and boisterous man was walking next to him. Conversely, the people on the street were retreating into shops and cafes, aware of the impending doom.

“So, my friend, what shall it be?”

Not taking his eyes off the ground, Kakashi muttered, “How about we play the quiet game, Gai.”

Gai emitted a booming laugh that made Kakashi’s already aching head spin.

“Oh, my worthy rival! Your sense of humor always inspires me!”

Kakashi was about to tell Gai to shove off when a soft call from above made him stop walking all together. He looked up at the white dove that was circling overhead and murmured, “This is getting ridiculous.”

He made a quick decision to ignore the bird and continued walking in the direction of his apartment. He had been wearing the same underwear for three days. He was at least giving himself the luxury of changing his clothes. Gai followed him to his door where his fellow jounin turned and gave him a look that clearly said, “Go away before I physically remove that smile from your face.”

Gai finally got the idea and said brightly, “Perhaps we should save our friendly competition for another day. I would not want to battle my eternal rival when he is not in his top fighting shape!”

He clapped Kakashi on the back, sending the grey-haired jounin pitching through his door, and bounded down the steps to the street.

Kakashi groaned as he stumbled into his small apartment. It was dark and quiet, and his bed seemed to be beckoning to him.

He blinked.

His bed _was_ beckoning to him.  He shook his head sharply.

 _I really need to get some sleep_ , he thought.

He moved towards his dresser, hoping it would continue to act like a normal piece of furniture, and pulled out another set of regulation black pants and shirt. He was in the process of stripping off his mud-stained shirt when a tapping at his bedroom window made him turn.

Perched on the ledge outside was the snowy-white bird, looking indignant and pecking at the glass with its beak.

“You certainly are persistent,” he muttered.

He turned away from the window again, removing his shirt completely and scratching absently at his hair, which was sticking out at more angles than usual. He was slipping out of his pants when the sound of breaking glass made him drop to the floor and reach for the kunai that he kept hidden under the dresser.

He looked up to see the bird soar through the now shattered window and perch above him on the end-post of his bed. He considered flinging the kunai at it but instead rose to his feet, hands out in a gesture of defeat.

“Can I at least get dressed first? Or does she want me to come half naked?” The creature seemed to consider him for a moment and then ruffled its feathers in a peaceable sort of way.

“Thank you,” Kakashi muttered under his breath, fully aware of the absurdity of the situation.  He dressed himself as quickly as possible, trying in vain not to feel self-conscious under the bird’s steady gaze.

When he was finished he turned back to the creature, which ruffled its feathers again, an action that Kakashi perceived as approval. The bird took off out the window and Kakashi once again stepped out of his front door.

“This better be good," he murmured, before locking his door and trudging down the steps to the street below.

* * *


	2. Chapter 2

“Have I _angered_ you in some way?”

Kakashi was standing in the Godaime’s office for the fifth time that week, arms crossed and looking petulant. His visible eye blinked sleepily at the blond woman behind the desk.

The Fifth was ignoring him. She was the only other person in the village, besides Gai, who was unfazed by Kakashi’s cranky mood.

“I have another mission for you.”

“Get someone else to do it.”

She stared at him. “You’re the only one.”

“Gai looked pretty free earlier when he was challenging me to another test of my masculinity. Why don’t you ask him?” Kakashi realized that he was sounding like a certain blond genin, but frankly didn’t care.

“They specifically requested you.” The blond woman had stopped looking at him and was now examining a file in front of her.

Kakashi’s eye narrowed in suspicion. “Why?”

Tsunade shrugged.

“Okay…what is it?”

“You’re going to escort a councilwoman’s daughter to the Country of Rice.”

Kakashi took deep breath and placed his hands on her desk, leaning in towards her, right eye blazing and voice threatening.

“Listen, I understand that you’re a little understaffed, but I haven’t slept in _five days_. I haven’t eaten anything but field rations since Sunday. And if your _damn_ bird doesn’t leave me alone it’s going to end up as a wall ornament.”

Sensing its imminent demise, the dove that had soared in through the window didn’t even bother to land on its perch but whipped around and flew straight back outside.

Kakashi was glaring at the Hokage. She sighed.

“I promise this is the last one. It’ll be painless. Two days and you’ll be back.”

Kakashi closed his visible eye and let his head drop, not wanting to think about two more days in the field. The Hokage took the lack of a response as an acceptance of the mission and stood up from her chair.

Coming around from behind her large desk she said, “You can meet her now. She and her mother are waiting in the next room.”

Kakashi sighed and thrust his hands into his pockets, feeling too exhausted to argue any more. Tsunade pushed back a sliding door and entered the brightly lit room, where a young girl of about twelve and her nicely dressed mother were sitting in comfortable chairs. They immediately stood when the Hokage entered the room, but their eyes didn’t stay on the imposing woman for long.

The older woman was staring openly at Kakashi, who was squinting in the sunlight that was pouring in through an open window. He blinked and looked at her. She smiled and her eyes took on the sparkle that he had seen when Sakura was looking lovingly at Sasuke. He had a sudden inkling as to why she had requested him.

The woman placed a hand on her daughter’s shoulder.

“I’m sure you will take good care of my Koei. Her father is waiting for her in the city.”

He eyed the girl. She looked back at him moodily. He sighed again and scratched the back of his head. The woman kept talking.

“You don’t have to worry about luggage: she packed light. Her father is expecting her tomorrow afternoon.”

Kakashi looked at the bag lying next to the couch, then at the girl. She was dressed for a long journey. The mother had an expectant look on her face. He cleared his throat.

“So you’ll want to leave immediately, then.”

The mother smiled brightly, “The sooner you leave the sooner she can get there. I know how excited she is to visit the city.”

From the look on the daughter’s face, he highly doubted that she was looking forward to this expedition. If anything the teen’s frown had deepened since he first saw her and he thought he could detect a trembling in her lower lip. He glanced at the Hokage, who seemed oblivious to the girl’s apparent misery and instead patted the grey-haired man on the shoulder.

“Have a safe journey. I’ll expect a report on my desk when you get back, although I don’t expect that you’ll have any trouble. The councilwoman is well-liked.”

She gave the mother a wide smile and excused herself from the room, heading back into her office. Kakashi, the councilwoman, and her daughter stood apart in silence, staring at one another. The mother was the first to move. She turned her daughter towards her, took her face in her hands, and planted a kiss on her forehead.

“Have a safe trip, my dear. I know you will have so much fun!” She turned the girl back towards Kakashi and gave her a slight nudge before following Tsunade back into the main office.

The twelve-year old and the jounin stared at each other. It was bordering on the most awkward situation Kakashi had ever been in. He suddenly recalled why he hated working with young girls: they were unreadable and therefore incredibly frightening. He decided to take charge.

“Well, grab your bag. Let’s head out.”

The girl followed the orders almost noiselessly. The only sound that escaped her was a sigh. Kakashi’s was more audible. He had a feeling this was going to be a long trip.

* * *


	3. Chapter 3

The first leg of the trip to the Rice Country was fairly uneventful. The weather was pleasant and the roads were mostly deserted, allowing for easy passage through the countryside. Koei had yet to say anything but Kakashi didn’t really mind: the silence was soothing. And anyway, he was only supposed to transport her, not entertain her. As the morning wore on, however, it became more and more difficult to remain conscious.

He didn’t normally like to speak much to anyone, but the only way he was going to stay awake was by finding some way to occupy his awareness. His brain sluggishly fished around for a topic of conversation, and nothing seemed to be biting, not that he often had ideas for good conversation starters.

Koei, for her part, was determined to not make eye contact, let alone small talk. In fact, the girl was proving to be more silent than Sasuke and seemed content to stare at the ground in front of her, sighing occasionally.

Kakashi finally threw her a side-long glance. “So, what are your hobbies?”

Koei didn’t look up. For a long moment, Kakashi thought she was just going to ignore him, but then she finally spoke.

“I like to read.”

_Reading! Good! Something they had in common!_

“Really! I like to read too. In fact there’s this great series…”

He stopped as the next words made their way through his brain. He really didn’t think it was appropriate to discuss Jiraiya’s porn with a tween girl.

 _Damn_. _Next tactic. What would Sakura talk about?_

“So, you got a boyfriend?”

The girl’s face turned toward him and she gave him a look so moody that only his extensive training kept him from physically moving away from her. She didn’t say anything but merely looked back at the road in front of her feet.

“Never mind,” Kakashi murmured to himself.

He finally started humming a tune to himself, which elicited another sigh from the child. He didn’t care – just so long as she was breathing.

* * *

They reached the halfway point in the early evening, a small village where they rented two rooms at an inn for the night. Kakashi left Koei to herself in her own room, which was connected to his by a heavy screen, and instructed her to wake him if she needed anything. Once alone in his own room, he eyed the pallet that had been laid out for him. The prospect of getting a full night’s sleep while on a mission seemed almost too good to be true. He smiled to himself and sank onto the soft futon, not even bothering to take off his vest. Savoring the feeling of tranquility, he let his eyes drift shut and was asleep within a minute.

It didn’t last long.

He awoke with a start and was immediately aware of something wrong. A sound from Koei’s room made him spring to his feet, palming a kunai and moving noiseless toward the partition. He cursed himself for not keeping better watch.

He listened at the thin screen, trying to gauge what was happening on the other side. He heard ragged breathing, a sob, and footsteps moving from the center of the room toward the other wall. He eased the partition back and peeked into the room.

Koei wasn’t on her pallet.

He looked toward the window and saw her standing in a frilly nightgown. He felt for foreign chakra in the room, and realizing there was none, let his armed hand fall to his side. He stepped into the room. Koei turned with a sudden start and Kakashi’s stomach twisted. She was…. _crying_ …and looking at him mournfully. She sniffed wetly and rubbed her arm across her eyes.

“Are you alright?” he asked quietly.

Her face screwed up and with a dramatic sweep of her arm, she turned back to the window, sobbing as if her soul was being torn in two.

Kakashi groaned inwardly. He didn’t need this. All he wanted to do was sleep. He cursed the Hokage, knowing that she would probably find this whole situation very amusing.

He moved reluctantly towards the young girl, slipping the weapon back in its holster.

“What’s wrong?”

He immediately regretted the question. She whipped around from the window and, before Kakashi could react, threw herself around his waist.  Kakashi twitched with discomfort, holding his arms awkwardly out to his sides. He was afraid to touch the girl lest she do something else frightening. He checked her visually for injuries. There was no blood so something else was definitely causing her distress.

 _Gods_. He hated when they did this.

“Are you hurt?” he asked, prying her arms from around his waist.

She shook her head and he asked again, “Then what’s wrong?”

She took a couple sobbing breaths and stammered, “I’ll never love again!”

Kakashi blinked at her and made a confused sound.

“I left my one true love back in Konoha and now I’ll never see him again!” She finished the sentence on a wail and Kakashi began to worry about the people in the neighboring rooms.

Fighting the urge to roll his eyes, he awkwardly knelt down in front of her. He needed to shut her up fast or else they would be sleeping on the street. He had absolutely no idea what to say to a love-torn 12-year-old. Lengthy interrogations, Itatchi’s torture – anything was easier to deal with than this. Aside from the Icha Icha series he didn’t know anything about love. In fact _nobody_ he knew knew anything about love.

Except…

The thought popped into his head with a visual of a conversation he had witnessed about a month before - one that had made him gag slightly at the time. He considered it for a moment and, realizing it was his last hope (she was still sobbing loudly) he took a deep breath and went for it.

“If love is really true, distance will not destroy it.”

The girl took a shuddering breath and let her hands drift down from her face. She looked at Kakashi through swollen eyes.

“R-really?” she asked hopefully.

“Of course!” He offered her a smile that she couldn’t see under his mask.

“How do you know?” she asked, in that special way that only 12-year-old girls can.

Kakashi gritted his teeth and ground out, “Because when you’re in the Springtime of Youth, what lies in the heart cannot be stopped by physical barriers.”

He offered her a thumbs up for added effect, hoping to all the powers in the universe that nobody back home would ever catch wind of this.  Quoting Gai was something he would _never_ live down.  

The child had stopped crying and he looked at her expectantly. She sniffed wetly, “That’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard.”

Kakashi’s shoulders sagged and he absently scratched his aching head. “Listen,” he said. “Go to sleep. I promise you’ll feel better in the morning.” He patted her gingerly on the head and turned to go back into his room.

“Um, mister…sir?” He stopped again at her small voice and turned back with a tired, questioning look.

She blinked and looked at him. “I don’t want to sleep alone in here.”

“Uh,” Kakashi cleared his throat. He was not sleeping in the same room as the 12 year old. Suddenly another idea popped into his head. He held up a finger, giving her the “Hold on a second,” gesture and rapidly formed hand seals. He begged silent forgiveness for what he was about to do and slammed his palm to the floor. There was a pop and when the smoke cleared a small, bored-looking pug was standing in front of him.

“Aw! What a cute puppy!”

Pakkun immediately took in the situation and gave the young man a horrified look.

“I don’t think so, kid!”

He made to sprint out of the room’s connecting door but Kakashi blocked his path.

“Please,” he whispered pleadingly, hoping the dog would read the desperation in his visible eye.

The animal sighed and shook his head slowly, “You owe me big on this one.”

“I know,” Kakashi muttered in response as he watched Koei scoop up the dog and cuddle him to her chest.

“Are you going to be alright now?” he asked the girl.

She nodded and smiled at him, settling down onto her futon with the hapless dog clutched in her arms.  Kakashi winced for the animal’s sake and nodded.

“Good night,” he said with finality and slid shut the partition between their rooms.

He leaned against the screen for a moment, wondering what had just happened. He dragged himself back over to his own vacant futon sank back onto it, listening to the girl’s breathing slow in the next room.

“I’m going to kill that old hag when I get back,” he muttered to himself as he finally, finally drifted off into an uninterrupted sleep.


	4. Chapter 4

“This is for you, ninja-san.”

Kakashi was standing next to the ambassador, outlining for him the costs of escorting his daughter from Konoha. He looked down at the girl, who was smiling up at him shyly. She was holding up a long-stemmed daffodil that she had apparently picked from her front garden.

“Thank you for bringing me here safely.”

He took the flower from her with a polite bow. “It was my pleasure.”

She blushed and turned away from him, crouching a couple feet away.

“And this is for you, Pakkun.”

She pulled a biscuit from her pocket and held it out in front of his nose. He sniffed it, made an appreciative noise, and grasped it gently in his teeth. She giggled and gave him a scratch behind the ears. Kakashi grinned behind his mask as the gruff little dog leaned into her hand, giving her a tongue-lolling smile.

He turned back to the ambassador and bowed formally. “It was an honor to serve you and your family.” The girl’s father bowed in return, laughing jovially.

“Go get some rest, son,” he said paternally before guiding his daughter into the house.

Koei turned and waved before she disappeared through the door, leaving Kakashi and Pakkun alone in the afternoon sun. They both sighed quietly.

“Cute kid,” Pakkun muttered.

Kakashi rolled his eyes down at the pug and snorted.

“What?” the dog cried.

Kakashi shook his head and turned in the direction of the village gates. “C’mon, mutt,” he said. “Let’s go home.”

\------------------

A few hours later found Kakashi shower-damp and sleepy-eyed in his kitchen. He put the finishing touches on an incredibly rare steak, grabbed a beer, and strolled into his living room. Pakkun was stretched out on his couch, panting happily as the delicious scent of undercooked meat wafted in his direction. Kakashi set the plate on the couch with all the flourish of a high-class waiter and settled into an armchair a couple feet away.

“You know,” Pakkun said, tearing into the edge of the steak. “I could get used to this kind of thing.”

Kakashi stretched out his legs and took a sip of beer. He sighed appreciatively and leaned back in the chair, letting his eyes close slowly. “Well, I’ll make sure I call you the next time I have to escort an obnoxious, love-sick teenager.”

Pakkun swallowed loudly. “Really now, I don’t think she that bad.”

Kakashi cracked an eye and peered at the dog. “What went on in that room after I left you guys last night?”

The dog looked up at him innocently. “Nothing.”

“I saw you two cuddling before I closed the door.”

The dog scowled at him. “Kid, if you tell anyone about that, I’m going to leave you a nice smelly present in your shoes.”

Kakashi chuckled and closed his eyes again. A few moments later, a shadow passed through the evening light that was filtering through the western window. A light tapping followed, making Kakashi reflexively tighten his grip on the beer bottle. He opened his eyes, took in the white dove sitting on the outer window-sill and drew back to throw his beer at the creature.

In a tremendous move that saved not only the beer but the window, Pakkun leapt to his feet and growled, letting the hair on the back of his neck rise. The bird gave an undignified squawk and flapped away, leaving a light dusting of white feathers behind.

Kakashi settled back in his chair with a smug look. He gazed out the window for a moment, savoring the peaceful silence of the village at sunset. His eyes slid down to the window-sill, looking fondly at the yellow daffodil that drooped slightly in its water-glass vase. The flower glowed softly in the fading light.

He sighed in contentment as Pakkun settled back in to finish his steak.

It was good to be home.

~Fin

 


End file.
